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Have you ever been overcome with self limiting fear? How about just hindered by fear of failure? Don't rush by this next question.
Pause and give this some concerted thought. What would you attempt if you knew that you could not fail?
Fear is the greatest but, perhaps, the most subtle obstacle to reaching our goals. We might think we're stalled because of other people's objections, insufficient resources, or circumstances outside our control. But it is often fear that keeps us from seeing a way around barriers - causing us to abandon our dreams. We can't eliminate fear. But we can manage it and move past it.
Much of what I am going to share with you comes from my own personal battles as well as from the wisdom of others. It is my hope that you will take away some useful information from this article that will help you construct a more fulfilling life.
The formula for change is: (D x V) + F >R, wherein
D = Dissatisfaction with our current circumstances,
V = the Vision of our future and
F = stands for the First Steps that we must take to begin the change process. All of this must be greater than
R = our Resistance to change, if we are to grow.
The fear that keeps us from taking that first step is usually self limiting fear, not imminent physical danger.
How do we overcome self limiting fear?
I have 6 thoughts to share with you that might be of help:
1. Realize the Truth: Self limiting fear is in our minds - it is not a wild animal waiting to devour us on the trail. Self limiting FEAR is: False Expectations Appearing Real
2. Analyze your Circumstances: Ask: "What is the worst that could happen?" Then convince yourself that you will be OK if it does happen. Realize that God gave us good minds to use so that we can avoid the worst that could happen. Then ask: "What is the best that could happen?" Is it a whole lot better than the worst? If it is, then ask yourself: "What's up with the fear?" Learn the difference between devastation and disappointment. Few outcomes are devastating. Fear is an appropriate response only when life or health is at stake.
3. Pray for & Visualize the Desired Outcome: Has anyone noticed that our fears tend to become monstrous in the middle of the night? Prayer is a great way to slay those monsters. I draw strength from a favorite Bible verse: Phil 4:6 - 7. Also, remember, we tend to actualize what we think about. I have a sign on my desk that states "What I focus on will expand!"
4. Force some Routine into your Life: Exercise relieves anxiety by relieving tension and releasing endorphins; giving us a sense of control over some aspect of our lives. It's a great way of learning the disciplines of goal setting and achievement, which bolsters our confidence. Access other valuable routines such as reading empowering books like the Bible and biographies of people who overcame great obstacles.
5. Connect with Someone: All fears, no matter how big or small are worse when we face them alone. Find someone with wisdom that you can trust: a relative, friend, counselor, pastor, and a coach - someone who can help you to put your fears in perspective and overcome them.
6. Take the First Step: Finally, muster enough courage to take the first step. Be willing to stretch your comfort zone, realizing that is how we grow. Joining Toastmasters is a great way to take the first step toward overcoming one of the biggest fears for many people - public speaking.
In closing, since I am an ActionCOACH I must conclude with an action plan! That plan is embodied in a favorite saying "Do you want to grow? Then do what you fear the most!"
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